Preparing To Be Crone... In My 30s
A Pilgrimage to Maturity
Despite much of society’s distain, I’ve decided that growing old is not a passive and begrudgingly inevitable process but a sacred voyage to walk intentionally. Rather than an inconvenience, it is an honor to lean into elderhood. I’m merely half-way to crone and yet I’ve been called to prepare on a path of devotion now so that I’m able to share an abundance of ripe, juicy fruits later.
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The (Wake Up) Call
Maiden… Mother… Not Yet Crone!
Nothing like getting a pregnancy announcement phone call from your friend to induce a visceral reaction in your own body, affirming that more mothering is not the choice for you.
Upon receiving and processing her sensational news, the reality brought up big boundaries in me. That morning, by witnessing one woman begin a new mothering cycle, I clearly realized that Mother was “complete” for me.
In reality, I had a 4 and 8 year old… and was actually far from finished in my Mother phase, yet that event induced my psyche to shift toward my responsibility of carrying out Crone.
The initiation of this interaction invited a wave of synchronicities to unfold for the rest of the day into the night…
That morning’s journaling process…
In the evening, I attended a women’s gathering at the Mermaid Temple — an extremely enchanted place of wisdom, raw femininity and music. On this particular summer night’s gathering, after individual, sun-kissed and flower-herb baths we transitioned to floating and soaking in the saltwater pool, sharing sister songs.
One beautiful friend and mother-to-be shared a rendition of a circle song I hadn’t sung in ages. It was Grandmother Song by Sheffy Oren Bach. I encourage you to listen. I recommend that you learn this anthem and sing it to your growing mugwort plants :) Really! More on that later.
Her musical share sparked a cascade of inspiration. Within ten days, I eagerly crafted a birth shrine for that friend who reminded me of this powerful chant and was within her birth window. It’s pictured below, posed regally in front of the tall cronewort AKA mugwort (a grandmother spirit medicine) in my garden. I’d love to share more about the specific symbolism inside this piece with you another time…
There’s more magic from that night… Eliza, hostess of the temple, has a nice collection of decks and will rotate them out. The deck I was drawn to this time was The Rooted Woman Oracle by Sharon Blackie. I am usually a one card girl for most occasions but two cards showed up for me — in a story set: Pilgrimage and Old Crane which I came to understand as The Pilgrimage to Crone.
Pilgrimage Message Highlights: spiritual in nature, undertaken for deeper understanding, asks that we give up everything so we might learn, march for knowledge, longing — deep connection, community, change. Surrender and open. Winding. Step by step.
Old Crane Woman Message Highlights: Celtic mythology association with old women. Guards the otherworld. Shape shifting magic. Liminal. Equipped to cross. Pay your respects. Step forward. Be ready to reveal to her.
My card pull from The Rooted Woman Oracle by Sharon Blackie
The events of this particular day were full and had me spun into a new direction in life, the direction of Crone.
Life of an Old Soul
Proximity to Advanced Age
My dad called me an “old soul” enough times growing up that I came to truly identify with it. And get it tatted. He would laugh with surprise at my responses coming from a 6 year old but seemingly pulled from an ancient knowing.
As a single child of divorce by age 2, I was around adults a lot. I remember being the only child during dinner dates with my moms friends and stopping by their homes for what felt like forever after she’d pick me up from my grandparents following work. Like a detective, I’d fill in the gaps of what was unsaid in their conversations, creating my own context.
I spent the most peaceful memory-building moments of my childhood with my maternal grandparents. Their home was my sanctuary of imaginative play. It’s where I synced with the pace of retirement. I tagged along on their leisurely activities — to fellowship clubs at our Lutheran church, to practice Tai Chi for seniors, and to make copies at Kinkos.
In high school, my early jobs were at nursing homes and assisted living centers. At first in the food service, then as a home health aid and certified nursing assistant. When I’d work the morning shifts as a teenage CNA and support their rising routines, I longed for my own days to be as measured as theirs.
Thankfully, at this point, I am living that part of the dream. Slow, ritual-led days with pockets of restful contemplation. But, because I didn’t grow up with the community role of crone, I didn’t know to aspire to it. My proximity to advanced age begot a familiarity with senescence but not a mastery of maturity.
As my life shifted away from Western models of healing toward holistic wellness and I gathered within traditions of the Wise Woman way, I learned about the triple goddess phases of the feminine cycle. Here is where I came to know of the concept of crone, befriend them and learn to honor them.
The Path of Devotion
Mind, Body and Spirit
Ok, so what are the ways I’m actually preparing for crone?
Practically speaking, here are the ways I am walking toward embodying this archetype:
Connecting with mentors and listening to their stories — Centering elder relationships and practicing really hearing what they’re saying. Following through with their methods, lessons and invitations. Feeling worthy to “sit at their feet” and be in their witnessing.
Spending time in their company and sharing a meal.
Crone Summit - I was called to register for this free online program one of my elders was presenting for although I was not the expected demographic… it was rich with insights and resources of crone legacy.
Ancestral Altar + Rune Journey — the depth of this must be reserved for another blog. But, to be brief, I reinforced my adherence to tending my ancestor altar, specifically my deceased Norse grandmother mentioned above and opened a world of study based in that heritage including the runes. It even resulted in me creating my own personal set for divination.
Taking my physical wellness seriously serious — It’s been a long time coming. I mean, youth and an able body have been on my side! But, this call to crone was a reckoning to maintain my body temple. You know the 13 wishes ritual? The wish I ended up with for 2026 is increasing my vitality and strength. I’m improving my diet and moving my body again! Hot yoga is my main choice at the moment. It’s taking so much intention but I am committed to preserve my health and do what I can to physically make it to the crone years.
Practicing the skillsets — The art of wisdom-keeping requires that I remain a student and I also teach. Y’all know I love to read so, I stay learning. Crones know things! They have wisdom and they share stories. So, this year I set out to be teaching full-tilt. I am getting experiential and putting myself in the position of effectively sharing what I know. My events page is continually updated with the opportunities given to me to exercise this gift.
Connecting with Cronewort (Mugwort) — Getting to know this grandmother medicine on a more personal level. I met Artemisia vulgaris at Red Earth Herbal Gathering in my mid-20s. Fast forward, I got some seeds from a seed swap and planted them hopefully in 2024. Summer of 2025 a few robust stalks produced with ferver and we became great friends. I went to her with celebration and songs but also with grief. Her presence in my garden held me through growing pains, she served as counsel for my concerns. She became material for hand-crafted brooms in the fall. She brought me full circle, through the landmark moment that opened this blog and has been chosen as the plant of Red Earth 2026 where I am returning to teach after a couple years away.
